boooo!

okay..i just realised that this blog has been left abandon for months..

a lil sneak preview of what i'll have to post and update about..

Christmas! and maybe a little more..

Chicago..

Miss Fickled

new path..=)

new environment.new place and life..

well its been the coming third week eversince i came

and i've been really thankful for having seniors for helping me..

without them..i'll be even lost and blurr..

but then again..i've been rotting for three weeks already then..

dannng!

so far so good tho..

god's blessing..

classes starting soon and yeaaa...hopefully it'll be goood..!

Miss Fickled

afterrr so longg...

have been travelling a lot lately in the previous month..

have been facing a lot of god's creation..

the mountain tops,volcanos,beaches, seas..

places to tourist dont usually go..

they are actually pretty...

inner beauty of it are the nature and also the people there..

simple minded and they dont have any hanky-panky behind their sleeves..

a very good place to zen and refresh my mind..

would love to go back there again..

=)

im almost done with stuff..

am left with most probably a month..

once im done with my visa and yea i'll confirm my ticket..

and am gonna miss people who are worth missing..

heh..

marked by my butt..

an island in sabah..

naruto's frog..

koh samui,thailand.

lake toba ,indonesia..

Miss Fickled

emospirit...

no doubt i've been having hols for the past few months..

but to be honest these few months are the most challenging and tough times for me..

even during my final term in diploma where i had tonnes of things to do..

so what if im having my hols now?

it may seems like im enjoying my hols flying here and there..

but DO not judge by just looking at the surface..or judging a book by its cover..

i felt way better before than i am right now..

im stuck in the box being mentally abused..

nobody would really understand...

all you guys would just say..'dont think too much'

i've enough of that..

i rather not talk about it and just digest them down alone..

its hard.its tough.i cant do it on my own.

i'm falling in fact i've fallen..

and i find it hard to stand up again...

Miss Fickled

a broken wing..

as much as i've tried..

i'd still fall back..

and now im feeeling very brittle..

a normal person would have already gone nuts going through that for 1 year..

what more about me when its six years straight..

nobody would really understand..

Miss Fickled

selfish yet irresponbile seeddd in you.

sometimes it really annoys me when people are just plain selfish and irresponsible at times..

its their duty..but they just pushed it aside and expect you to do it for them..

and when u've questions and are really desperate to seek for help..they'll leave you hanging..

what kind of people is this who does not think about how people feel but themselves..

i do now want to think about it..but the matter is currently planted into my brain and cause me to think..

i dont mind going through the hassle but cant you just show a lil more appreciatiation then just taking it for granted?

if one does not voice out.it doesnt mean we are afraid or dumb to notice whatsoever u're up to or planning to lie about.

people do get bored sometimes of the excuses u've been telling and treating one as a lil lulu..

for one reason now is pushing it..and now it has beeen a stronger thought..

Miss Fickled

=(

everything is just not right this month..

i keep losing things..

things that are important to me..=(

and i wonder why..

Lil Miss Fickled

shell..

things would have been much easier if u were to close your ears and eyes..

not bothering whats going on..

but unfortunately..it life wouldnt be that easy on you..

having to let go all..is just plain impossible..

but memories will remain and will never go off..right?or will it?

its has beeen pretty challenging..

as right now..its a complete mystery for whats happening next to me..because i myself cant tell..or predict..

left my blog empty hanging for a couple of months already its because i was busy preparing myself for finals.

and right now..time's really running out as i've a lot of things to do..which i hope i'll get them settle as soon as possible.

and the job will lead me to a place further from here..

which everyone seems to asked...why there..why am i always choosing places away from home.

.

Miss Fickled

what's next?

Okay..i know i've beeen hibernating from my blog for ages.

finals coming..

too much to read..a heap of mountain..

lots of subjects..difficult tough ones..sighs..

and what's next?

too many things coming up..

i need to really think about my path which im gonna begin with next after my diploma..

i will update more again..

after my finals..=)

Miss Fickled

term 6 finals..

well...i know i've not beeen really updating about my doings throughout the holidays..

but all i know was it was really the emo month for me..

3/4 of it..

didnt really do much but before my hols ended we went down for a day trip to malacca..

and then with another bunch to pangkor/sitiawan..for of get-away cos all 3 of us had our emo periods..

and now college started..

its in the so called lakeside campus..and im pretty aware that they didnt emphasize to public that there's a cow farm behind..like directly behind the college.

and each morning or so..when the wind blows..gosh..the smelll of their poops..killllls straight..flat on the floor..

and if i wanna write a list of complains about the new campus..im afraid its gonna be a long post..

this term will be final term for my diploma..

and its gonna be a tough one..

sighs..pray for time management..

that'll i'l be able to cope up with things..

and we've got the emo queen.stone king and blur queen in action for 3 days 3 nights..

which we crashed pls's hse..

and up next is to malacca..

which i always refer to the 'c' gang..

which contains of cat(ah mao), celes,me and charlie.

charlie's hse was like a musuem..like those typical nyonya's hse..

back to my reports now..

=(

Miss Fickled

to trigger or provoke..

well..i just realised that all the post lately are more to dull and sorrow ones..

i couldnt help but to have emo inspirations to produce these kind of post..

i cant think of any good ones which i can post about..

just that the lil part of me have been provoking the emoness and trigger the emo button in me which have taken a serious effect in me to cause this..

no point ranting about it..

but i just miss..sighs..somehow..im admitting that i miss those few days i had throughout the emo days of mine..=(

i still do actually..if some of u are thinking about..i dont know what..i guess u guys are wrong then..

Miss Fickled

aware or not?

how silly can people be at times?

knowing that u shouldnt do something u're not suppose to but u still do in the end?

and for that u choose for that to happen..u're pretty aware of it..

and end up being in a messed..

sighs..

others just dont understand or forsee things..

i guessed thats why everyone has their diff point of view towards everything..

Miss Fickled

deja vu..

and now it's happening..

easy to be said then done..

its haunting..disturbing..

and its gonna take a while to step out from the emo path..

so long..

Miss Fickled

the aftermath?or not.

How far would you progress?

the struggles faced to recover.

living in the shadow of your story you've created.

Everything inside your circle starts to overflow.

Leaving the wound unattended and..

you feel it bleeding..

Thinking of the misdoing you've done for history to happened

Thinking of what could be if you rewrite your role play in your story.

And so it goes on and on.

Anytime u may fall whenever anything pulls you down.

You've others behind on your back.

Waiting to lend a hand to pull you up and get you back in track.

Just dont give up.

Miss Fickled

Life is Full of Drama

life is full of drama..

Despite many of us have secrets which has a lil spice in it..

the drama that happens may not be those we truly enjoy..

its not stagnant and changes always..

a question i need to ponder..

Am i leaving in denial because i dont want to admit even as i wish for stability?

why are there always bits and pieces left no matter how hard you try to get rid of them?

its like a donut where there's a hole in the middle of it..

why does it feels like..im standing at the edge of a broken bridge trying to save myself from falling again and again.

and each time i stand up..the self confidence level decreases after each fall..

the mask that's being put on is getting thicker each day..

no point ranting about it.

it leads to maturity at the end of the day.

u'll not know the truth by just seeing it through the cover unless you dig..

it gets you thinking and by that it turns on the emo button..

even the confusion grows everyday

reminisces.i've not gotten a decent one for a really long time..

everything is going to be buried and burnt.

trying to lie and say it's okay to myself..

a feeling i shouldnt feel.or react that way.

i dont know what to say.

sitting outside there.

i miss stoning..letting my mind run free...

if u asked me..what's in your mind?

i seriously dont know..

Miss Fickled

air to breathe.

i survived throughout my sleepless night..

causing all my pimples to popped out..

im pretty worried for my english and fnb paper..

i did quite badly especially fnb..

seriously bad..no exaggeration added in it..

but oh well..the thing was throughout the exam period..

my friend actually called to morning call me.lol..

was so reluctant to get up..sleepless nights..

backbone hurt yesterday.

didnt really go out and stayed put in the hse.

heh.

wanted to update about the pa event but then i cant seem to change the pics's sequence..

oh well another time then..

supposingly said to be holidays for me..

but no...dont get conned..by the word holidays..

this round of holidays are for me to finish up my 13 psr reports..register for toefl and sit for it asap.

am pretty messed up lately..

siggghh..i think im gonna need to settle some stuff as soon as i can..

i need fresh air.to.breathe.

somewhere.with.good company.

Miss Fickled

sinful crime when u're sick..

finals's is just a week ahead..
im seriously doom.
have been jamming my brain with wine laws and all..

siggghhh..
oh welll stayed over in celes's place on fri..
because we went out to laundry to celebrate celine and eunice's bday..
was suppose to go the library but it was packed..
wasnt really in the mood that day..
lost my precious..=/
ended up sitting outside for a while for some fresh air..
and after we went to mcd at nearly 3am..
slept at 530 plus cos celes and i were pillow talking throughout the few hours before sleeping..hehehe...

the nex morning which was yesterday..
went down to klcc and pavillion with mummy jus to walked around..
and knowing that im sick..
we had thai food for lunch and dessert bar for desserts..hehe.xD
which was a total crime..
thai food was nice...sour and spicy..oohlala!

had brunch in chakri palace..

the cosy ambience of the restaurant..

our appetizer..sour stuff..yummmy!
mango salad with minced catfish..

followed by the thai four season..

this was..lovely..
tom yam clear seafood soup..
sour and spicy enough.=D

and the pad thai noodles..
too oily..=/

and walking and roaming around for hours..
we headed over to dessert bar for desserts as our dinner..lol..

snow ball..didnt choose the nutty christmas as i dont fancy nuts..
its sorta fruity with 12 mini ice cream balls with any 3 flavors.
as usualy we'll look for the shorbet most sour flavor..hehe..
passion fruit shortbet..black sesame ice cream and strawberry..
missed those time we had the ice cream and shorbet in hk..=/

and mum wanted the grape cheesecake..
didnt quite like it cos i dont really take dairy products..
and we had the minty lemon smoothiee...aaahh!!that was really refreshing...wanna know why??
lemonn!hahahaha..sour!!lovely.

another crime i've committed today was..
mcd for lunch with mummy chi mei..nicole and xe..tee hee..
there goes my toad voice..

Miss Fickled

mes amie..

you knew i was down..
but sigggh u cant be here for me.
but yet you took the initiative to send a really sweet text to cheer me up all the way from south africa..
making missing you even more!
uggghhh..i want boxing day to come quickly..
and that's when u're touching m'sia..
that simple text made my night and i totaly have forgotten the frustrations i had..
lol..im not referring to whoever u all are thinking about..
mon amie..elle s'appele rachel chua..=D

xoxo..take care huns..
continue shining for him..=D

Miss Fickled

marche..

a week ago..
we went over to foo foo's house to do our french assignment..
nice house with tonnes of mirrors everywhere...
from moment we stepped inside..
his mum looks like his sister instead of mother..
which we thought was his sister..that was how young she looked like..

and after that we headed to the curve..
was suppose to filmed our french video but ended up eating without filming..
and how can we go somewhere without a camera?

the biggest mirror in the living room..
with the mirror it looks more like a dance studio..

and later on we dined in marche..

the moment we stepped in..
the restaurant smelled like our college's kitchen..
well because it's market style..
and it was pretty warm.
the food wasnt really nice for us..

foo foo and blur queen..

jinn and ah cat..

the 5 of us..

et voila!!
we saw this..
lol..
mais..we didnt go in cos we were too full..xD

more posts coming up!

Miss Fickled

mountains..

mountains mountains..assignments are like mountains..
have beeen sleeeepin really late these dew weeks..and days..
practically look like a zombie..
oh well all 3 groups event had passed..
and it was okay..
all 3 with different interesting concept..
will update about a few soon...prob on sat..=D

My darling(laptop) is telling me to concentrate on my work..
laters!

Little Miss Fickled